Arizona Wanderer was away hiking the Grand Canyon. Paga Diaries Episodes will resume next week.
Until then, catch up on some past episodes, such as Scipio Metellus, Slaver of Ko-ro-ba (4) which dropped on an off-day, or Flashing Eyes by Peony D. Beckside.
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ReplyDeleteArizona Wanderer:
ReplyDelete(1) The vignette, posted in three parts on 02/01/2025 at 05:14, 05:22 and 05:20 and 05:31 to “The Emma of Gor Trilogy: An Introduction” is a gem.
(2) First part, first paragraph (“I went to …”), third sentence: “I took the papers and sat on the couch and then told her … “ —> … papers, sat on the couch and then …
(3) I like the bondage element in the first part, first paragraph, fourth sentence: “Her hands were still back-braceleted …”
(4) I like the thorough and detailed description of Viducia’s body.
(5) I Iike the word picture in the second part, first paragraph, fourth sentence: “Her skin blushed …”
(6) The scene and dialogue in the second part, second, third and fourth paragraph and the fourth paragraph, first sentence is a marvel: ‘She stopped reading aloud, and glanced quickly up at me before looking back at the papers. “Viducia, read it to me,” I said. “I, can’t. It is too humiliating!” “You address me as Master!” I said …’
(7) Consider adding a couple of word pictures to the dialogue in (6) above: ... at the papers, her creamy white cheeks a crimson red. … as Master!” I roared …
(8) The punishment scene is detailed, well written and exquisite. The use of the word “shrieked” twice. “…, her eyes wide and pleading” and …”… her body jerked but remained kneeling” and “… tears streaming down her face and landing on her breasts” make the scene vivid. I suggest you say, “naked breast.”
(9) Second part, last paragraph (‘“Yes Master,” she …’), seventh (third from last) sentence: “Her nipples looked like they were stiffened …” —> … they had stiffened …
(10) I love the word picture in the third part, first paragraph, last line: “As she read …, Viducia’s creamy white skin blushed in pink spots all over her body.”
(11) I like Rykart’s reaction and thoughts, “Seeing her pointed nipples, her blushing skin and the whip mark on her breast made me aroused. I wondered why I waited so long to purchase a woman, I should have bought a kajira my first day on Gor!”
(12) Third part, fourth paragraph (‘“Look at me. …” …’), fifth sentence: “Seeing her pointed … the whip mark on her “ —> … whip marks on …
(13) I love the final three words and the title of this vignette: ‘“Move well kajira.”
(14) Brilliant writing!
vyeh
vyeh,
ReplyDeleteThank you again for the kind words and helpful corrections! There is a small chapter that comes before Move Well Kajira. Check your email. And I don’t think I included the entire Move Well chapter when I posted on Emma’s comment section. I am struggling a little with title choices.
Arizona Wander:
ReplyDelete(1) I just sent you an email.
(2) I like the title you proposed.
(3) Email me with your other choices.
vyeh
Arizona Wanderer:
ReplyDelete(1) I sent you an email thoroughly reviewing your chapter.
(2) The only time missing between MK and MWK is a sleep period and breakfast. I suspect the former Lady Filomena is a terrible cook.
vyeh