Waiting For The Bus
Peony D Beckside
I lie in that half-awake state where one
doesn’t want to admit it’s morning as that would be a commitment to getting up
out of bed. In my semi lucid state I
recall the dream, or was it a nightmare with absolute clarity, yet for all that
my mind grasps to hold it, The dream is
the very antithesis of what I am, an upwardly mobile business executive that
takes no shit from anyone, let alone any man that tries to denigrate me or get
in my way. The dream frightens me on
several levels. It speaks to me as a
threat to my ambitions. It worries me,
making me wonder even doubt what I am, the kind of person that I am or that I
strive to be. Its voluptuousness, and
strangely, seductiveness threatens to engulf and overwhelm me. Its barbarity and cruelty frighten me for
themselves alone. Its outlandish
sensuality seems so addictive. Perhaps
that’s why in my semi slumber I yearn to re-enter the dream. One part of me knows that if I allow myself
to go back to sleep, I’ll have a different dream and I will lose my hold on the
one I’ve just had. Another part tells me
I should be waking up properly and getting about my business. They war with one another. Me, the present me, in my lassitude am the spoils. To the victor I go. Right now this semi sleep with it’s memory of
the dream is so luxuriant that I don’t really want to leave it.