Wednesday, 5 November 2025

Paga Diaries (25) by Arizona Wanderer

 

25.  Paga Flows



I woke to the sound of a low toned bell that rang twice, and then twice again after a moment.  I was in one of the tents on the lawn, set up for Mirus’s party.  Lina had slept with me in the furs and she woke up hearing the bells too. 
“Good morning Master,” she said smiling.  It was good to see her smile. “The bells call and all slaves must report,” she said.  “Master, thank you for letting me stay with you last night.” She kissed my bare thigh briefly before rising from the furs and exiting the tent.  I watched the blond German woman’s backside as she left, wanting to own her now more than ever. 
Last night was amazing, but this morning I was tired, hungry, and a little hungover.  But I was very comfortable lying in the tent.  I could have easily slept for several more ahn, but I needed to get up and relieve myself.  I waited a bit and then put my clothes back on before leaving the tent.  The sun was bright, too bright for my condition and I wished that I had sunglasses.  I relieved myself and thought I might sleep a little longer in the tent, before getting up for the day. 
I noticed six slaves standing in a single file, one behind another, on the grass lawn.  They were wearing short, brief, slave tunics.  Four of them had been placed in a coffle chain, each one attached by a shackle on their right wrist. There was a man attaching the next slave in line to the coffle.  Mirus and Tereus were there speaking with him.  It was Lenious.  The three of them looked at me, and I approached.
“Tal,” I said.
“Tal,” Mirus and Tereus replied.  Lenious was silent.
“Great party Mirus, thank you for invite me,” I said.
“This barbarian is a friend of yours?” Lenious asked Mirus.
“Yes, his name is Rykart,” Mirus replied.
“Does he work for you too?” Lenious asked.
“No, perhaps soon?” he replied, looking at me.
“Perhaps,” I said.
“He is the one I told you about who offered ten silver tarsks for slut Five,” Lenious said.
“Five?” Mirus asked.
“Tina, I forgot, her name was Five,” Lenious said.
“Tina, yes, she is a fine slave and last night’s contest winner.  She has many talents, but I don’t think Rykart fully understands the value of our money, being new to Argentum,” Mirus said.
I didn’t want to contradict and possibly anger Mirus, his enormous generosity meant much to me, but I did disagree with his assessment of my understanding of Gorean money.
“I am new with money, I understand ten silver is great, a year pay for many.  The offer for Five still stands, she is worth the silver to me,” I said, looking over at her as I said it.  She was looking at me as I spoke, her face expressionless, and then she looked down.  She was standing in the middle of the coffle, her wrist shackled to the chain.  I thought I had gotten over any attachment I had for her, but seeing her now, I knew I still wanted my collar on her.  I wondered if Lenious was going to honor the prize Mirus had given her, a day off from work.
“She is not for sale,” Lenious replied angrily. 
“Rykart, if you like, it would be my pleasure to take you to the Dautium Square and visit some of the finer slaving houses to help you find a perfect first slave for you. You appear to be ready and able for ownership of your own kajira,” Mirus said, diffusing the awkwardness.
“Thank you, Sir, I would like that,” I replied. “And thank you again for party, it was amazing. I wish you well.”
“Before you go, would you care for a swim and some breakfast?  It is a great way to start the day,” Mirus said.  The pool sounded appealing but the type of swimming that Mirus liked was more of a race than a casual swim, and not something I cared to do at the moment.
“Thank you, no, not this morning,” I replied.
“I wish you well Rykart.”
 
 
 
I settled into a routine the weeks following the party.  Each week I had three main activities that I focused on.  I would start my week with the first day that began with mornings at the city guard station where I would train and receive sword lessons with Atticus’s guardsmen.  In the afternoon I would go to the tarnkeep to develop tarn skills with Trem and Jesop.  The next day I would go to the wood shop and work as a sawyer for Dimos.  At the end of my working days, my late afternoons and evenings often varied.  Normally, I would walk home, frequently taking different routes looking for a bathhouse to bathe in.  After an ahn or so in the bath, I usually visited a tavern, for dinner, paga, and the serving slut who was part of the deal, unless I had put the bath girl to use earlier.  Sometimes I would stop by the Feasting Tarn and have drinks with Trem and a game of kaissa with Arlonis; my game was definitely improving.  When I got home, I played the kalika; my fingertips had developed calloused pads from the strings.  I felt I had established a very Gorean routine, and I was enjoying it. 
I entertained myself by sampling the large variety of different taverns and inns.  I found that after visiting many paga taverns, from the crudest hovels to the luxurious ones in Dautium Square, the passion of slave girls varied.  A slave with burning heat, who writhed well in the furs, could be found at any one establishment and at any time.  The same slave also differed from day to day, something I discovered with repeat business.
 
The wood shop was good for me, helping me to interact with other Gorean men and learn the language faster than I thought.  I learned some Gorean carpentry techniques, the words for tools, fasteners and materials, even though as a sawyer, my time was mostly spent as a laborer working a saw on wood that had predetermined cut marks.  The work was hard, long, and repetitious, but it was building muscles on my renewed, age regressed body.  The shop seemed to be only building two things, ladders and scaffold components, that, when done, where stacked tight and neat in a large warehouse by the river.  Once in a while Mirus and Tereus would come and have lunch with Dimos at the shop; sometimes I would get invited to join them.    
I wanted to find a better place to live, somewhere safer, nicer and closer to the center of town.  Mirus had offered to help me find a place, close to his neighborhood, which would be a significant improvement over my primitive apartment, one that was very spartan.  I was a formerly spoiled American and had come to assume that any acceptable standard of living should include running water.  We had looked at a couple small homes and nice apartments to rent and I was on the waiting list for one of them.  He said that we didn’t have to wait if we kept looking for something else.  I know he is a very busy man, involved in numerous business affairs, so I did not want to burden him with helping me find a new place.  When I found something I liked, he agreed to review any legal details before I made a commitment.
I was satisfied with the pace of my Gorean learning, but I still wanted to learn how to read and write.  It wasn’t an urgent need and my three main activities kept me as busy as I wanted to be.  I usually stopped at a bathhouse on my way home each evening, trying out different ones as much as I could.  Sometimes I took a bath in the small bathing area at the guardhouse. 
 
 
 
On one early evening after a long day at the woodshop, I left the bathhouse hungry, and entered a tavern that was cooking something savory I had smelled in the street.  The Slurring Master was a bit rundown, but the paga here was decent, the food was good, and the variety of six, eager to please, paga sluts was delightful.  I had been here several times as this tavern was close to home.  Along with the decent  house paga, this tavern offered a paga imported from Torcadino.  It was very good and cost a little more, but the price was worth it to me.  It had a slightly smoky flavor and I was growing fond of it.
 The mood this evening was sour as everyone seemed to be talking about the latest rumors about the war.  It seemed that multiple unofficial sources were claiming that a large Argentum force had been beaten badly and forced to retreat, leaving a large gap of unprotected front line.  This gap was being exploited by the enemy who had advanced and captured some small towns that were allied with Argentum.  Those towns were now under the control of Corcyrus.  The Free Women of these towns were now being presented to the citizens of Corcyrus, bound in public pleasure racks, displayed for the amusements of any passerby.  These Free Women would surely soon be wearing collars placed on their necks by new Corcyrusian masters.  Many in the tavern argued that there was no way that these rumors could be true, because Argentum was winning the war and victory was near.  
 
 
 
 
One afternoon after leaving a bathhouse, and a very talented dark skinned bath girl, I decided to visit the Talendar Blossom, the teahouse where I had met Lady Filomena and Lady Cosima.  I smelled the baking of the delicious honey cakes before I saw the entrance to the building.  I entered and the thin slave girl with brown hair and rather plain looking face, greeted me.  She was wearing a knee length, loose fitting, yellow tunic and knelt before me in tower, keeping her knees together modestly. 
“Tal, Master, welcome to the Talendar Blossom, my name is Petal, how may I serve you?”
“I am not sure.  Do you know if a woman is here, a Lady Filomena?” I asked.
“I do not know Master, is she meeting you here?”
“No,” I said.  How is one expected to find any Free Woman at any time when they all look the same in their veils and cumbersome robes of concealment?  I wondered how the two ladies I met before would recognize each other if they decided to meet at this teahouse.  Perhaps they used the hostess to coordinate meetings?
“I want a table, honey cake and paga,” I said. 
“I am sorry Master, we don’t have paga.  “Would you like a table inside or outside in the back courtyard?”
“Courtyard and red ka-la-na,” I said.
“Yes Master, this way,” she said as I followed her to the courtyard.  It was beautiful, shaded by large trees and accented by numerous flowers growing in bushes and in beds along the perimeter.  There were several tables occupied by women, I did not see any men.
I sat at a table and enjoyed my cake and wine, no one in the courtyard paying any attention to me.  I decided not to stay long after figuring out that trying to find Lady Filomena was impossible.  At one of the adjacent tables I noticed that from time to time a veiled woman would briefly glance at me.  I ordered a second wine, not because I wanted to stay, but because it was delicious.  I was ready to go home.
The woman at the other table kept stealing glances at me and then it seemed as if another woman at her table began to look too. I did not think much about it and continued to enjoy my wine.  The two women got up gracefully and approached my table.  I thought I was being quiet, inconspicuous, and not bothering anyone like I had the last time I had come here.  I was definitely curious now that the women came over.
“Tal Sir, pardon my forwardness, but you look familiar,” said one of the women.
“Tal, my name is Rykart,” I said, not knowing what else to say.
“Rykart, yes, I am Lady Cosima Polamka and this is Lady Claudia Frinsal.  I met you once before with a friend of mine.  We were amused that you came in here and tried to order paga.  Do you remember?”
“I remember, Lady Filomena asked many questions. Is Lady Filomena here?” I asked.
“You remember her name! Unfortunately, Lady Filomena has not been able to meet here for a while; she is much occupied with her business.”
“I hoping she be here. She offer help with tutoring. I want learn read, write Gorean,” I said.
“Yes, I remember she offered to help find someone for you. I could let her know that you asked about her.”
“How she would answer, contact me?” I asked.
“I suggest meeting here the day after tomorrow at the tenth ahn?”
 
The next morning I went to the city guard station for some sword training.  I normally trained with whoever Sergeant Breg assigned to spar with me, Atticus occasionally supervising and suggesting the introduction of an advanced move.  Atticus was there this time and was in a good mood.  After several hours of training some of us went to the small communal bath area in the guard house.  When we left the bath, I faintly heard a woman screaming, over and over. 
Atticus muttered, “She is acting up again.”
“Who?” I asked.
“We had to arrest a Free Woman last night and she is being very resistant to confinement rules. I better go see what is going on before she gets injured. Do you want to come?”
“Yes,” I said.
I followed Atticus as he went downstairs into a large basement which was a jail, with at least two wings of corridors that had a dozen or so individual, metal barred cells in each one.  These corridors were not very well lit.  I heard screaming again, this time much louder and a male voice yelling.
We passed a couple of cells, most of them empty but a few with male prisoners inside.  We passed a corner and the cells now had women prisoners.  At one of these cells, a guard standing outside a cell in the corridor, held a whip in one hand and keys in the other. 
Seeing us, the guard said, “Captain Atticus, this woman refuses to follow the rules. She will not kneel facing the back wall so that I may open the door and collect the bucket.” 
Inside the cell were two women.  One of them wore a modest tunic and was kneeling in tower, her hands behind her back and her forehead leaning against the back wall.  She had long brown hair, but we could not see her face.  She was barefoot.  The other woman wore a long white gown, trimmed with lace, that fell to her ankles, her feet covered in plush slippers.  She had auburn hair that was trussed up in an intricate pattern, high on her head.  There were two or three strands of hair that had come out of the tresses in disarray.  Her face was red and streaked with tears, she was very distraught.
“Captain, Sir, I am a Free Woman. Though accused, I have not been convicted, and will not tolerate being treated this way! When I was arrested, my robes and veil were taken from me to be searched. I am no threat, I have no weapons. I demand the return of my robes and veils!  It is not right for men to see me this way! And why do I have to kneel when the door is opened?  I am not a slave and I kneel before no man!”



“Lady Filomena, this jail has security procedures that must be followed to maintain order, provide safety to the staff and the inmates. You will follow the rules while you are here. I know you are not a slave, but as a prisoner, you will kneel when the guard orders it.  If waiting for you to kneel becomes too burdensome for us, you will be shackled to the ring on the back wall and remain there until removed from this cell.  Do you understand what I am saying?” Atticus said.
“Yes, Sir, what about my robes?  It is not right for men to see me this way.”
“My men are doing their duties. You were arrested last night and your robes have not been thoroughly searched yet. When they are, you will be permitted to wear them,” Atticus said.
“Why is he holding a whip?” Lady Filomena asked, looking at the guard.
“The whip is used on prisoners who do not comply with orders. That includes you,” Atticus replied.
Filomena gasped loudly before saying, “This is all a big misunderstanding. My Free Companion will explain everything.”
“Your Free Companion is missing and will be arrested for questioning when found,” Atticus said.
“This is a misunderstanding; we are not criminals. I demand to see the Magistrate!” she exclaimed.
“The Magistrate is a very busy man. You will be brought before him when a hearing is scheduled,” Atticus said.
“Am I allowed visitors once my robes are returned to me?”
“Yes, on visitation days, you will be permitted access to visitors. Are you ready to cooperate and comply with the orders of city guardsmen?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Good. Turn around and kneel, place your forehead against the back wall of the cell and put your hands behind your back,” Atticus ordered.
Lady Filomena slowly complied. With her forehead touching the wall, she began to sob.
“Thank you, Sir,” the guard said to Atticus and we left the corridor.
When we got to the top of the stairs, leaving the jail, I asked Atticus what the charge was against the woman.
“Something about defrauding the government, I don’t know the details. We think her Free Companion is in hiding or has fled,” he said.
“What will happen to her?”
“That is up to the Magistrate. My guess is she will be executed or enslaved if her Companion does not resolve the complaint,” he replied.  
I left the guard station and couldn’t help but wonder if the woman in the jail, Lady Filomena, was the same Lady Filomena who I had met in the teahouse and was supposed to meet again tomorrow to arrange tutoring.  In the teahouse, I had only seen the eyes of Filomena, behind her veil.  Both women had blue eyes.  The women in the teahouse had pale white skin, from what little of it I could see.  The woman in the cell had red hair, or strawberry blond on Earth, and most women with hair like that are very fair complected. Today it was hard to tell how fair her complexion was, as her face had been bright red from her distressed state.  In the teahouse we had talked long enough that I think I could recognize her voice, but when the woman in the cell spoke, her voice was too distraught for me compare.  The skin and eyes seemed to match; was Filomena a common Gorean name?
 
 
Inside the Talendar Blossom the next day, I had arrived early to watch the arrival of Ladies Filomena and Cosima, even though I would not recognize them.  I had eaten a spiced honey cake and was on my second glass of ka-la-na, when two women arrived, and approached my table.  They wore robes of concealment and what looked to be layers of veils covering their faces.  I could only see eyes.
“Tal Rykart, I am Lady Cosima Polamka and this is Lady Claudia Frinsal from the other day.”
“Yes, I remember. Join me?” I asked.
“Yes, thank you.”
“Where is Lady Filomena?” I asked.
“She sends her apologies, urgent business keeps her away. I will arrange your tutoring. A silver tarsk is required as a deposit on future lessons.”
“When will lessons begin?”
“This time next week.”
“Who is teacher? Lady Filomena?” I asked.
“Lady Claudia and I will begin your instruction and then Lady Filomena and an escort will continue when her business concludes.”
“Escort?” I asked, not understanding a word new to me.
“Yes, it is inappropriate for a Free Woman to fraternize alone with a man, especially a barbarian.”
“I don’t understand,” I said, fraternize being a second word today that I had not heard before.
“She cannot be alone with you. It is our custom.”
“I understand. You teach read and write Gorean?” I asked.
“Yes.”
 “I agree, start next week, then meet every day?” I asked.
“We will meet twice a week, two days in a row.”
“Meet here, or?” I asked.
“Yes, we will start here, I will wear a light blue striped veil for you to recognize me. Do you have the silver tarsk?”
“No, not today,” I lied.  “I bring when we meet,” I said.  I was not about to give this stranger a silver tarsk and trust that she would return next week to start tutoring me.  A silver tarsk seemed like an excessive amount to secure lessons.  I had serious doubts about this arrangement.  I was beginning to believe that Lady Filomena was the same Filomena that I had seen in the city jail, and her prospects of “concluding” her business did not look very promising.  
“So, we agree to meet here next week to start your lessons and you will bring a silver tarsk for a deposit?” 
“Yes,” I said.
“I wish you well.” Lady Cosima said.  Lady Claudia had not said one word.  They left the teahouse and I left shortly afterwards.


10 comments:

  1. Arizona Wanderer:

    (1) I’m glad Rykart “slept” with Lina. Maybe she likes the fact he sleeps next to her! “You let me remain on the couch, holding me as you fell asleep. Most masters would have sent me to the floor afterwards, waiting at their feet, out of the way.” (5) Cuddling can be more satisfying than kajira sex!

    (2) “Last night was amazing” was an excellent summation and an effective contrast to the explicit descriptions that you sometimes provide, e.g Tafa in (23). It made Rykart’s experience emotional compared to his (mind-blowing) sexual experience with Tafa.

    (3) Despite Rykart’s “amazing” night with Lina, whom he wants “to own … now more than ever,” he says to Lenious, “The offer for Five still stands, she is worth the silver to me.” For a man who initially worried about the responsibility of owning one slave, he could end up with two. Will he be able to handle the rivalry, or worse, double-teaming? The mind boggles. Rykart, be careful of what you wish for. You may get it, to your regret!

    (4) Mirus says, “Rykart, it would be my pleasure to take you to Dautium Square and … help you find a perfect first slave for you. You appear to be ready and able for ownership of your first kajira.” How would Mirus feel about a very recently enslaved scribe?

    (5) In At the Sardar Fair of En’Kara III, Gold Key says, “I bought the first slaves for each of my sons when they were young. Experienced kajirae for their first conquests. And I went with my boys when they sold their first slaves; and bought their own next girls; girls their own ages, girls they chose themselves.” Although Rykart isn’t a boy, his first slave should be an experienced kajira to teach him the way a proper kajira behaves.

    (6) “I would start my [Gorean five day] week with the first day that began with mornings at the city guard station … In the afternoon I would go to the tarnkeep … The next day I would go to the wood shop … At the end of my working days, my late afternoons and evenings varied … [sentences about bathhouse, tavern, Feasting Tarn, kalika and the varying passion of slave girls, even the same slave girl from day to day]” What does Rykart do on the third, fourth and fifth days? How about “The rest of the week” instead of “The next day?”

    (7) I love the reference to the hundred Free Women of Isurium placed in pleasure racks in Corcyrus (Outcast of Gor Chapters Thirty One and Thirty Two). Perhaps Tracker could place a hyperlink here to Chapter Thirty One of Outcast?

    tbc

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    1. ctd

      (8) A “very talented dark skin bath girl?” Great initial illustration as well as the ending illustration of the jail cells.

      (9) Rykart asked for paga in Chapter 18 and was told there was no paga. In (18), Lady Polamka’s name was spelled “Polamca” and Lady Filomena identifies herself as “Lady Filomena Viducia Barbieta.” However the scribe in the comments to Emma’s introduction is “Viducia Stelsis.”

      (10) Lady Filomena in the guard station has auburn hair as does Viducia Stelsis. Atticus guesses Lady Filomena “will be executed or enslaved if her [missing] Companion does not resolve the complaint.” Viducia Stelsis was given the choice of execution or enslavement. Lady Filomena in (18), Lady Filomena in the guard station and Viducia Stelsis have blue eyes.

      (11) “The skin and eyes seemed to match; was Filomena a common Gorean name?” Lady Filomena Barbieta argued in Chapter 18 that free women were naturally happier than slaves. Rykart had argued women were naturally submissive. “I was beginning to believe that Lady Filomena was the same Filomena that I had seen in the city jail, and her prospect of ‘concluding’ her business did not look very promising.” To win an argument with a free woman, enslave and purchase her!

      (12) It makes sense that rather than pay Lady Cosima and Lady Claudia for Gorean lessons twice a week for over a silver tarsk, Rykart buys Lady Filomena for a couple of silver tarsks — she is untrained — and gets daily lessons and slave use.

      (13) There are a couple of comments addressed to you in Verna’s Journey (3) and The Paga Diaries (24). If you look at the second comment in Verna’s Journey (4), you will see why I am hesitant to criticize, even constructively, Tracker’s “After the Bighorn.” I could say that cowboys enslaving and branding women isn’t Gorean. You, Paladin, Pauline Anne Armitage and Tracker put a lot of soul and work into your writings. Why should I make my point (6) that you only covered two days of the week?

      vyeh

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  2. vyeh:
    For your comment (6) I could have done a better job describing Rykart’s third, fourth and fifth days. I meant to convey that his activities alternated on different days, and that he was busy every day for a few weeks. Thank you for pointing out the ambiguity, I will correct it for posterity.

    On (10), you got me. I tried (poorly) to use a different name when I posted a future chapter, a teaser, on Emma’s comment section. The name change was to prevent a spoiler for when the preceding chapters eventually came out. I never expected a reader like you, one who pays very close attention to detail, and who does comparative analysis. The two women are the same and I hope that reveal doesn’t spoil too much, and that you will enjoy reading the in between narrative.
    I enjoyed your comment in (11) “Too win an argument with a free woman, enslave and purchase her.” I wish life was that simple!
    For (13), I understand your concerns about criticism and your reference to Verna 4. To answer your question as to why you should make a point about me only covering two days a week; your input lets me know that clarity is needed and a correction can be made. Your input makes me a better writer. I stated before, that most writers know they will not satisfy every reader, and that is okay.

    I have never done this before, but I like to think that with time my storytelling will improve. For the next couple chapters l struggled with making things as Gorean as possible. I have asked Trakkar for his input prior to posting. Once posted, I am asking you , and anyone else to help me make these chapters as Gorean as possible.
    Thank you, Arizona Wanderer.

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    1. Arizona Wanderer:

      (1) How much are you a glutton for punishment? I point out typos to Tracker because he is a perfectionist, he corrects them and a reader may find his stories years from now. I discovered Emma’s site almost a year into her current hiatus. I appreciated that in some cases, she corrected an error after a commenter pointed it out.

      (2) I discovered your writing from 2 years ago on Emma’s site. I was so impressed I put a sentence in my first, only two paragraph long, comment on this site. That I requested you continue is a compliment. Your writing then was more crisp. I think that may be due to (1) attempting now to be more descriptive, and (2) expanding beyond Rykart’s encounters with kajirae. Lina, Penny/Five/Tina and Lenta are vivid.

      (3) My comparison of your current writing with your past writing may be affected by their respective locations. I know Tracker tries very hard; Emma had a lot more experience formatting in Blogger and I suspected she edited your work to keep her readers happy. Since she was a great writer — Fictionmania readers raved that she was one of the best writers among the numerous writers on that site — I’m sure she spotted and fixed problems in the writing of her guest writers.

      (4) Compare the formatting of (5) on Emma’s site from Lina leading Rykart to the sleeping chambers to when she left in the morning to the formatting of the preceding chapter from Filomena screaming (which should be the start of a new paragraph) to Rykart wondering if Filomena was a common Gorean name. I found the former a lot easier to read because the paragraphing and line breaks between dialogue signaled me when to pause to digest the words. Please note that I am very impressed at Tracker’s accomplishments on this site during Emma’s absence.

      (5) Since you wouldn’t publish Move Well Kajira, I knew Viducia Stelsis had to appear sooner or later. Once Mirus offered “to help [Rykart] find a perfect first slave for [him],” Viducia Steltis had to appear soon. Rykart has a soft spot for kajirae. Look at his relationships with Lina, Penny/Five/Tina and Lenta, who used him for her pleasure while he slept and whom he didn’t bust. I can’t believe Lenta goes 4 weeks between use. Are there more slaves than men in Mirus’ house?

      (6) Rykart went looking for Lady Filomena, even though she defeated him in the debate about free women. I compliment you for developing a counter argument to John Norman’s standard philosophical rant about the natural role of women. Maybe that is why Catherine of Exeter complimented you on getting free women right.

      tbc

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    2. ctd

      (7) It is only natural Rykart wants to own Lady Filomena when he discovers she is going to be enslaved. He’ll use her like he uses Penny, but he has a hard time being both a strict Gorean master and a language student. If you hadn’t written Rykart asked for Paga, I probably might not have checked (18) and noticed Viducia was Lady Filomena’s middle name. I would have been astonished if Lady Filomena from the tea house in (18), Lady Filomena from the jail cell in (25) and Viducia Stelsis were not one and the same.

      (8) I’m looking forward to Rykart using his connection to Atticus and the Magistrate Julian Lepidus in acquiring Viducia, if only to find out when and where the auction is. Given Rykart’s history of over bidding on both Penny and Lina, there is no chance anyone would outbid Rykart!

      (9) It is one thing to not satisfy a reader. It is another for an anonymous commenter to imply an author doesn’t respect her readers.

      (10) If “Gorean” means following John Norman’s world, there is a problem with Rykart’s background. Only the Priest Kings and Kur have interplanetary spacecraft. Is the Organization connected to the Priest King or the Kur? I’m not sure in John Norman’s Gor, Trem could take the slave boy, Jesop, to the Feasting Tarn. There is a huge divide between free and slave. In John Norman’s Gor. Trem is too tolerant of Jesop, who should be much more respectful to Rykart.

      (11) John Norman emphasized all the women, or at least all the kajirae, were beautiful — with curves and a round belly, not stick figure models. Your Lenta is overweight. The Talendar Blossom’s Petal has a “rather plain looking face.”

      vyeh

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    3. vyeh:
      I can take the ‘punishment’; your detailed critique is helpful, even if I don’t agree with all of it. Emma did request that I submitted my work in a certain format, making sure that I had deliberate paragraph breaks. This made it easier for her to convert I suppose. I should do this for Tracker too. And he is doing an outstanding job of posting for himself and others. I wish I had that kind of time in my life. I don’t think Emma did much editing on my work. I make an extra effort, by twice reading, to check for punctuation, syntax, etc., before submission. I also make corrections from comments like yours into my master copy. I don’t know what will ever become of it, but I want it to be the best it can be when I am finished.

      I totally agree with your comment (9) and am glad you made it.

      It is possible that Rykart does not know who the Organization is affiliated with, Priest Kings or Kur.

      I am mostly in agreement with J Norman’s philosophical rant about the natural role of women. Catherine of Exeter may have liked my initial and unorthodox portrayal of Free Women. I am fairly certain that when she reads the next few chapters, her opinion will change.

      I am attempting to make the Diaries‘authentic’ or as Gorean as possible, however Rykart’s perspective will differ from others. J Norman does repeatedly imply that all kajira are beautiful, but I don’t find that realistic. Are all the mill girls, laundry women and kitchen workers beautiful?
      There are more kajira than men in Mirus’s household. Maybe Lenta is being punished? Maybe she exaggerated.

      One of the best features about posting on Blogger, is having the input from readers while the story is still being written. I wish more people would comment, it is helpful and encouraging, a gauge for the writer to know if things are working. My confidence has definitely grown since I began, in large part from reader commentary. Thank you.
      Arizona Wanderer

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    4. Arizona Wanderer:

      (1) I’m glad you don’t agree with all of my critique. I want you to develop your own voice. I expect you to think about my points if you are serious about being a better writer. You could republish your chapters on Stories by Tracker on Emma of Gor when Emma returns. Tracker did republish the first five chapters of After the Bighorn on his site when Emma took her break. I emphatically agree that Tracker “is doing an outstanding job of posting for himself and others.”

      (2) Frequent paragraph breaks make a difference. I read differently for enjoyment than for analysis. For enjoyment, frequent breaks make a difference.

      (3) I love your portrayal of Lady Filomena and her unquestioning acceptance of the superiority of free women over slaves. Her opinion may change after experiencing bondage and, especially, slave orgasms. Catherine of Exeter would attribute Lady Filomena’s change of heart to her choice of enslavement over execution. In doing so, she failed to live up to the standards of free women set by Lady Cassandra Assante, before Companions of Gor. Simon ruined her!

      (4) Your initial portrayal of Lady Filomena is a confident and assertive free women, inviting a distraught man, out of place in a venue suitable for free women, to join her and her escort, asking him why he was distraught, handily winning a debate about the superiority of free women over slaves, saying she knew a Scribe who may be able to help him with his Gorean — who could that be?!? — and inviting him to return to the tea house, a free women’s domain, and visit her again.

      (5) Lady Filomena got some looks from Lady Cosima, but she was no more forward than some of John Norman’s memorable free women, e.g. Lady Florence. Your portrayal of Lady Filomena was not unorthodox. Of course, most free women in John Norman’s books ended up enslaved …

      (6) Gor is fictional, not reality. Once you start being realistic, you’re not being Gorean.

      (7) In (14), Mirus says Lenta “can be very needy at times. Actually all the time.” In (23), she twerks, “bent over and inserted a finger into herself and gave a moan. … The men applauded loudly … Rimici sent Lenta into the house and directed the other eight slaves to remove their wet silks and kneel in front of the paga station …” Apparently, Lenta cooked while the guests used other slaves. From the chuckling at her moves and the loud applause, a guest would have used her when Rykart took Tafa, the “only one slave left kneeling.”

      (8) Lenta being punished? That’s Gorean slavery. Force unwilling slaves. Deprive eager and raunchy ones. Exaggerating or lying would get Lenta punished. She might risk punishment to satisfy her needs on a sleeping Rykart, but risking Rykart innocently revealing she had lied to gain his sympathy would be too great.

      (9) You’re welcome. I’m happy to comment. I requested The Paga Diaries. I can influence its direction.

      (10) I’d like to see more Rykart/Lina interactions. There is a dark side in their relationship. Rykart will make an extra effort to master Lady Filomena because she won their debate about free women being happier than slaves. I’d like to see Rykart and Mirus “visit some of the finer slaving houses.” I’m eager to see how Rykart acquires Lady Filomena. Auction? Court fees for judicial enslavement?

      tbc

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    5. ctd

      The following was written and proofed several times before your latest comment. Then I checked to see if you had posted anything and responded above.

      (11) The Paga Diaries (24) ended with Rykart stuttering; not knowing what to say, his mind racing; distracted and hesitantly answering and Lina begging, “I beg use Master. Please take Lina to the furs Master.”

      (12) The preceding chapter, The Paga Diaries (25), begins, “I woke … I was in one of the tents … Lina had slept with me … and she woke up … ‘Good morning Master,’ she said smiling. … It was good to see her smiling. … ‘Master, thank you for letting me stay with you last night.’ She kissed my bare thigh briefly …” She balked at calling him Master in (5). Now she calls him Master twice, smiles, thanks him and kisses his thigh!

      (13) I asked in the comments to (24) about his stuttering, loss for words, concern about Lina’s knowledge of his earlier use of Tafa, racing mind, distraction and hesitancy in answering. Your detailed answer was not in his thoughts after Lina left. How about after “wanting to own her more than ever,” “I was too close to a slave of my generous friend and diligent mentor.”

      (14) The title “25. Paga Flows” does not summarize the chapter. No paga in Mirus’ house the morning after the party — it was all drunk! — the city guard station, the tarnkeep, the workshop, the tea house, the jail and in Mirus’ neighborhood. Maybe in the bathhouses and Rykart's home. Certainly in the paga taverns he visits after work, the Feasting Tarn and the Slurring Master, but he's more interested in paga sluts and Kaissa with Arlonis than binge drinking.

      (15) How about two chapters, from the beginning of the chapter to the end of the Slurring Master, “Routine,” and from the Talendar Blossom to the end of the chapter, “Lady Filomena”? Then the chapter where Rykart acquires Viducia, “Viducia” (or her slave name -- Viducia is a great slave name) and the chapter containing the teaser, “Move Well Kajira.”

      (16) You responded to my comments about more description and events from Outcast. Well done!

      (17) Where Rykart thinks, “A silver tarsk seemed like an excessive amount to secure lessons,” how about “Penny was only worth five silver tarsks.” Rykart would rather own Penny and get lessons from her than pay a stranger a silver tarsk.

      (18) With that thought, his decision to buy Lady Filomena is reasonable. Besides she made an impression on him in (18), winning the debate about the relative happiness of free women and slaves. He’d love to continue the debate when her mouth isn’t covered and she compares firsthand the happiness of free women and slaves! He’ll show her the happiness of a kajira! I love Rykart’s pidgin speech in his debate with Lady Filomena. That was excellent writing.

      (19) While kajirae are nice, a free woman taught slavery is nicer! Maybe Rykart will get over his attachments to Lina and Penny/Five/Tina with a kajira he owns 24/7. (Or is it 22/5 on Gor?!?)

      vyeh

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    6. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    7. What is so bad about that attachment? Is this objection tied to "true Gorean values"?

      I confess that I like him for being as he has been in the previous chapters. And I like him much rather than the Gorean men.

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 (edited March 22nd, 2026) . Stories tie back to Stories on EmmaOfGor.Blogspot.com in particular Steel Worlds Inc by Emma of Gor and Ban...